Perfection?
by Blueslusher48
Summary: Is her life as perfect as it seems, or is something missing? May be a bit choppy, but so is life


Everyone told her her life was perfect. And from the casual observer, it probably did look perfect. She had a supporting family, good academic standings, and a loving boyfriend that she had been dating since the beginning of her 7th year. She was top of her class and she had a family that supported her being a witch even though it was a dangerous heritage to be supporting. Taylan had approached her on the train, startling her as she left the prefects meeting in a huff. The Head Boy hadn't shown, and she had been left to run the meeting on her own. She had walked right into Taylan, and he had used the opportunity to ask her out. With the mad thought that it would keep James Potter off her back, she had said yes. And she had grown to like him.

When she thought about it, she supposed that that would like the perfect life to an observer. If only she could get herself to believe it. Every night as she went to bed, she whispered to herself that she was perfect and she deserved to be happy. Every night she fell asleep in tears, because things were not as perfect as they seemed.

Her parents had been killed by You-Know-Who, and the only family she had left was a sister who all out hated her guts. She was barely passing Transfiguration, and Professor McGonagall had told her numerous times that she had to get her grades up or as a professor, she would have no choice but to fail her. That would leave her with no way to get into the profession she was interested in.

She wanted to become an Auror, but being a female brought her down a notch, and if she would fail Transfiguration, she would have to chance at getting her dream job. Worse yet was that McGonagall had suggested she let James Potter tutor her. As if! She had scoffed at the idea. She would not let herself believe that James Potter was smarter than her, and allowing him to help her would be admitting that, even though she already had had to tutor him a few times in Potions.

Worse yet was her boyfriend. She let herself believe that she was as in love with him as he was with her, but truth be told, she had thought plenty of times with breaking up with him and it didn't even bother her, and that fact bothered her. If she truly loved him, or even liked him, she would be concerned that she didn't really care if they broke up.

If all those things weren't enough to make her cry, just 3 nights previously she had made a realization that she considered horrendous. She had been helping Potter with his potions. She had leaned over his shoulder to point something out just as he had pushed back his chair in frustration. His head had collided with hers, and she had been knocked to the floor. He had instantly bent down beside her to make sure she was all right, and she had suddenly realized that James Potter had changed. He wasn't rude, he wasn't cocky, and he was much more considerate to other people's feelings. And boy did he smell good. She had shook him off with shaky hands, insisting she was all right, saying they should just meet again that weekend.

She had managed to survive that tutoring session without anymore rash realizations, but the ones she had made at the previous session were enough to destroy the little semblage she had in her life. Now she was wandering through Hogsmeade with no destination in mind, pondering over her situation of wet pillows and James Potter filled dreams.

Lily Evans was a walking mess. Which might have been the reason she screamed at the top of her lungs when a large hand came down on her shoulder, startling her out of her thoughts, bringing her back to the real world with the fear of being attacked.

She went to grab her wand as a hand slammed her mouth, silencing her screams. Lily fumbled with her wand, managing to drop it, and she swore silently. She would have to resort to physical bruteness. She bit the hand over her mouth hard, and she heard her attacker swore. She used the temporary confusion to kick back, affectively hitting her attacker in the groin. She slipped out of the attackers grasp, making a grab for her dropped wand and turning on her attacker, who was on the ground holding his groin, swearing up a storm.

"Merlin's flying fuck, Evans, I was only playing, you didn't have to kill me!" her 'attacker' wheezed out from the ground, obviously in pain from a bitten hand and a kicked groin. "Don't think I'm ever going to have kids now."

"The world doesn't need a little Sirius Black running around anyways," she retorted, moving to help him stand up, or at least on his feet, still holding his groin. "What was that for? I thought you were one of 'his' followers. You could get yourself hurt sneaking up on people like that, you know."

"I just did," he complained, finally standing all of the way up, towering over Lily.

"Oh, stuff it Black, and take it like a man." Sirius made a face at Lily, and she stuck her tongue back out at him.

"That's real mature. Glad to know our Head Girl has good manners," a voice piped up from behind Lily, and she turned around to greet the new comer.

"Remus!" Lily cried, running at him and leaping into his arms for a hug. He caught her, pretending to stumble backwards under her weight, and she slapped him on the arm once she let him go.

"Just had to continue my child like actions. You understand, right Remy?" she asked, smiling innocently.

"Sure, I get bitten and kicked in the balls, and he gets a hug. Always favor the poor ugly," Sirius complained.

"Stuff it, Black, or I'll send my dogs on you," Lily warned playfully.

"Oh don't worry, Lily-flower, your dogs would never be able to catch the great Sirius Black." He puffed out his chest, trying to look more regal and powerful, and Lily started to giggle.

"Yeah, so long as I don't kick you in the nuts before I set them on you. Otherwise you'd just be dead meat," she managed to get out between giggles.

He sent her a single finger salute, and Lily let out an over exaggerated gasp of shock. "Mr. Black, I'm afraid I'm going to have to remove 137 points from you for rude gestures," she said in her 'Head Girl' voice, as Sirius liked to call it.

"And as Head Boy I give you 137 points for having to put up with me as a best friend," another voice added. Lily gulped deeply, turning to greet the newcomer-or comers, as she saw when she turned around. Peter Pettigrew was following James Potter, the object of her distress.

She wasn't sure how she managed to keep herself from stammering, pausing excessively, or drooling, but she finally said, "So Potter, that's how Gryffindor got all those points last week. You gave Sirius points for putting up with you." She attempted to look stern before she grinned slightly. "Good reason to give a person points."

James grinned, glad that he had managed a slightly civil conversation with her. "Yeah, what can I say. I'm a handful." He shrugged, and Lily shook her head.

"Well boys, as fun as it's been biting, kicking, and screaming, I have got to go find my boyfriend. I told him I would meet him, and my little rendevous with Sirius has made me late. Ciao!" She turned and practically sprinted away, feeling 4 sets of eyes on her, and one of them burning a hole through her back.

"Tough luck man. Thought we had her for you for a least a little more than a minutes. Did you do something to scare her off lately? She's been kind of jumpy. Oh, who cares. Let's go to Zonko's!" Sirius changed subjects quickly in an attempt to draw his friends troubled hazel eyes off of the red heads back.

James let out a sigh. "Yeah, let's go," he finally murmured, giving Lily's one last longing look before he took off with his friends. _If only she'd give me a chance._

"Taylan, I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. I like you, but as a friend, not as a boyfriend, and I can't keep stringing you along, pretending I like you as much as you like me. I don't want to hurt you by pretending." There, she had said it. It was out. It was over. And she wasn't sad.

"Oh. Ok. I guess um. Well. This is awkward. I guess um, well, I guess we can be friends then."

They shook hands rather formally, and just like that, it was over. Lily was free.

And James Potter heard every word of it.

"WOOOOOOO! I have a chance!" His cry rang through the boy's dormitory as he fell onto his Sirius' bed. "They broke up, and she's single, and I might have a chance!"

"No need to ask who," Sirius muttered grumpily, still upset over what he was calling 'the cheap nut shot.'

"It's obviously his flower. That's the only person he ever gets excited over. His flower and his Quidditch. Can you imagine if his flower played Quidditch? We'd never heard the end of it. EVER!" Remus responded from his bed, his tone displaying his boredom.

"You guys are no fun. At least let be excited for a few minutes, all right. Pretend to be excited for me, all right?"

"Yes James. Good job. She's single. NOW GO TALK TO HER!" Peter instructed.

"Good idea Peter! I think I will!" As quickly as he had arrived, James Potter was gone.

"Lily! Hey Lily!"

"Fuck," she whispered softly to herself, turning slowly to face her persuar. "Yes James?" she asked in a much more approachable tone.

"Hey. I uh, heard you and Taylan broke up. Hope it wasn't a bad break up."

"James, I'm sorry, but I really don't want to talk about it right now, ok?"

"Oh yeah, of course, I understand." And with that, he turned to leave only to be met by an outraged cry.

"UHHHH! You! What is wrong with you?" Lily practically screamed at him.

"What? I didn't do anything!" James protested, unsure of what he had done wrong.

"Yes you did! Why did you suddenly changed! I was comfortable hating you, and then you suddenly just started being nice, and considerate, and you stopped being such an arrogant prick!" she cried angrily, stalking up to him, stomping her feet as she walked.

James backed away nervously. "Now Lily, listen to me-" he started, his hands held up towards her, backing away from the fuming red head.

"NO! I'm sick of listening! I'm sick of listening to you talking to your friends like nothing's wrong, like you haven't suddenly changed into the perfect gentlemen!" she cried again, still advancing on him.

"Lily, there's no reason to get mad. I'm sure we can figure this out without the yelling," James started again.

"No James! I'm sick of the way you've changed because I'm sick of being attracted to you. My life would have been perfect if you bloody well wouldn't have changed into the perfect guy and then STOPPED ASKING ME OUT! Everything would have been peachy if you had showed up to the prefects meeting. I wouldn't have run into him, and my life wouldn't have gone downhill. I would have just dated you and I wouldn't be crying myself to sleep at night because everyone thinks I'm perfect, because I'm not! I LIKE JAMES SODDING POTTER!" she practically screamed.

Through her entire rant, James jaw had gotten progressively closer to the ground. If he had known he was going to get this kind of reaction by changing his ways, he would have changed them a long time before then.

Lily took a deep breath as if to start again, and to stop her, James did the only thing he could think of. He grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her against him, crashing his lips down onto hers.

_Dear lord, I can't believe I'm kissing Lily Evans. I better stop this soon before she hurts me. But she just admitted she liked me. So this is safe, right? I should still stop before she changes her mind. _

He started to pull back only to feel a small hand bury into the hair on his neck, yanking him back down as Lily's lips plundered his again.

"I didn't mean to make you cry by changing, you know," James whispered once their lips finally unlocked. "I just realized the errors of my ways."

"James, shut up and kiss me, all right."

And James obeyed.

_I may be failing Transfiguration, my sister may hate me, I may never be an Auror, but right now, I don't care, because I have James. Now my life is perfect. Only one thing left. _

"Hey James, do you think you could tutor me in Transfiguration?"


End file.
